Ode to the Doughnut

Ode to the doughnut
Your simple circular shape becomes desirable
Your beginning reveals not the pleasure you bestow
The lowly start of measured flour combined with sweet sugar
Your baker adds the blessing of salt and starts the process of sifting
Out goes your lumps one by one light and airy you now become.
Butter imparts lush essence to enhance the flavors you impart.
Milk and yeast combined for life bubbling and gurgling stretching.
Your wonder provider yeast brings you up from flat existence.
Mixing and needing combining for whole
Rest for a while rising to be reduced
Your last opportunity to play as the dough
The machine beckons to be filled with your bounty
Extruded out a perfect circle one by one
Floating on the river of oil to sizzle and bubble on you expedition
Golden brown your bottom becomes
Over your pushed to brown some more
Finishing your trip now left to drip
One final mix of sugar and milk for your coat
Final coat to grace you now
Your desirable presence for all to enjoy


I removed “Milks tempered desired temperature 110 degrees Fahrenheit.” because it did not help the flow of the ode and did not add to the understanding even though the temperature is important for the yeast.
I changed “Butter in liquefied state imparts lush essence of enhancement for flavor you impart.” to help with the flow and improve readability. It just seemed to long and I felt rushed to finish the line. There were a few lines that I changed a word to enhance how the line sounded.
I added “One final mix of sugar and milk for your coat” because I told the reader about the final coat being applied but did not tell the making of the coat.
I rearranged these two lines.
Milk and yeast combined for life bubbling and gurgling stretching.
Your wonder provider yeast brings you up from flat existence.
Milk and yeast are combined before adding to the mixture.

The changes I have made affected the readability and flow of the discourse in a positive manner. The changes also affected the chronological order and put the sequences of how to make a doughnut in the proper order. The main difference from the changes would be the clarity of what I conveyed in changing the chronological flow and the readability of the ode. My desire in writing is to improve upon what is already there and seems to be a continuous process.